Doggydad's life now: The Viral Monologues: The Viral Monologues, a sour confection of co-infection

Wow, 3 years and 2 days shy of 2 months shy of my last post. It seems like both yesterday and a lifetime ago, so I really don't know where to begin. I'll spend the next day or 2 sorting that out. Hmm...where to start. Loss of lover of 16 years? Loss of 2 beloved dogs in the last 2 years? Living with HIV since 1983? Moving out of San Francisco and into the halcyon suburbs? A complete upheaval of pretty much every facet of my life? Hmm, I think I need to make little slips of paper with topics and pull one out of a jar each time I'm ready for a change of topic.

To those long-time friends who have been with me these last 3 years and pulled me through a horrific, disorienting and painful time (and a lot of good times as well), you know who you are. Please know that I keep you close to my heart at all times. Since you know who you are, I don't need to give an Oscar speech, nor is that really my style. You hopefully know I love you, about as unconditionally as I ever have in my life.

To my newer friends who have come into my crazy life in these last 3 years, not afraid of the baggage I was carrying, you are wonderful people. Again, you know who you are. Please know how grateful I am for your support and love, and I return that love threefold, if that is even possible.

To those I've stepped over, hurt, disrespected, spoken or thought poorly of, or who I have harmed in any other way, physical or emotional, please accept my humble and heartfelt apology. If you don't or can't, I love you anyway, and always have a place in my life for those who want to be there.

To those who have harmed me (or I thought they did), anybody that may have had less than loving intentions toward me, anybody that broke my heart or left me feeling abandoned, anybody that I let make me feel unworthy of love, or even life, for that matter, I forgive you all. Let's try to find a way to heal ourselves and open our hearts again to each other. It's as easy as snapping your fingers or as hard as moving a mountain; it is what you let it be for you. But I bear no grudges; to the contrary, I am extending my hand.

It feels good to be writing again, I will do my best to keep it regularly updated, especially with what I'm facing in the very near future (ok, that will be my next topic). If you read this journal and you love, hate or feel indifferent about anything you read, share it with me and anybody else that might by reading my little stream-of-consciousness pondering. As long as it's a least vaguely respectful I won't censor it.

Thanks for your time, Doggydad has left the building. Aloha.