So it's still a nasty, toxic drug, but not as awful as it was back then. I have to say, with all the drugs I'm currently taking (or for that matter have ever taken), I have never gotten a patient information pamphlet that is as scary as the one I got for the Interferon. Under adverse reactions, nearly every major organ system has a life threatening possible complication. This is the best one though: in all these years, this is the first time that a possible adverse reaction to a drug I'm taking is "homocidal or suicidal behavior". I am as serious as a heart attack, which is also a possible adverse reaction.
But so far, the world is safe, and I'm doing fine with it. The caveat is that this is only day 3 of 336, but I'm happy right now. About all I can say for now is that it might be exacerbating my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but as I was telling Therese last night, in a way, my CFS has been a good preperatory experience for this. I know what it's like to have malaise that gets so bad at times, that it's all I can do to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I know what it's like to be so fatigued that it's easier to keep watching the same thing on TV rather than looking for the remote, which is probably at most a few feet away. And I'm resigned to that, and for that matter, ok with it. You ask anybody that lives with a lifelong disability, and nearly every one of us will say that one calibrates themselves to a new sense of what is normal. You have to if you want to cope with the disease and still remain positive and see the good things in life. It's a really good life lesson in not sweating the small stuff and really getting clear on your priorities. The silly stuff is a lot easier to let go of. Actually, it sort of organically falls away without you even noticing most of the time.
So far, so good. If it stays like the for the next 11 months I'll be just fine. I'm fairly sure that there are going to be some big challenges and obstacles along the way, but I'm not at all worried about them. If I am concerning myself with anything, it is hoping with all my might that this is going to work, and I'm telling myslef that it will. I keep being asked by my friends "what can I do for you?". For right now, send out the positive energy to the universe that this treatment works. I need that more than anything.
Pride is now 11 days away. I can't wait. I'm going to have a fabulous time, and for that one day, everything in my life that is weighing me down will not make it out of the front door of my house. If I can keep that attitude up after that day, even better. Perhaps that should be my goal right now. Worries will only weigh me down if I am worrying, so maybe that is the one thing that I most need to let go of. More later. Happy Hump Day to all.

Doggydad's Life Now: The Viral Monologues by Parry Tallmadge is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at doggydad.blogspot.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://www.runnymedesilkys.com.
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3 comments:
Parry, I love your writing style. Have you ever thought of penning a book?????
My comment is really more of a question ... a request for more details about the therapy.
How often is the drug administered?
Over the course of the therapy will you be able to travel and get away for periods of time?
Jo
What fish? Does the kitty love them?
Hey Jo: I pretty much just write for myself. It's very cathartic as well as being something that keeps me mentally sharper (sometimes). I don't know if I have the passion that is required to be published.
Interferon is taken weekly, as a subcutaneous injection (self-administered). Additionally I have to take an antiviral called Ribavirin twice a day. Ribavirin is a nucleoside analog, similar to AZT. There are a few new antivirals on the horizon, one of them which is supposed to go to market any day.
My ability to travel, vacation, etc. is pretty much my decision, and one that I'll make when the situation arises. For now, when I'm asked participate in activities with my friends, my general answer, if I'm available, is "that sounds great, but I'm not promising anything to anyone. If I'm feeling up to it then yes. Please don't take it personally if I back out at the last minute, I'm doing my best to preserve my health".
Deanna: The koi of course, silly! Angus doesn't have access to the pond, since he's an indoor-only cat. In any case, it's a raccoon-proof pond: deep, abrupt edges so they can't get footing to go fishing, and lots of nooks and crannies for the fish to hide in. They are very predator-savvy.
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